Tuesday, April 7, 2009

...and Greg got a terribly, awful idea....

So my friend at work, Chris, is out getting some certifications for two weeks... 

Around CUofGA we take work very serious... but we take our practical jokes and office pranks just as serious. We've:

Found a dead rat and attached it to a car
  1. Filled an office with 900 inflated trash bags
  2. 100% covered an office with post-it notes
  3. Zip tied everything in an office
  4. held stuffed animals hostage
  5. decapitated replica's of said stuffed animals when ransom wasn't paid
  6. Rigged batteries to pass an electrical current through a desk-drawer handle
  7. gutted entire computers
  8. parted-out a desk and placed the pieces at different places in the branch
  9. parted out a desk and placed the pieces at different places at OTHER branches
  10. Put vaseline on keyboards/mice/phone recievers
  11. Removed all the inksleeves/internals from all pens on an entire floor
Just the other week, when I came back from Italy... all of my desk drawers were filled with packing peanuts... packed to the top; like I said... we try to have fun here =)

So anyways... Chris.  He's gone for two weeks.... two loooooong, grueling weeks:

3 rolls Blue Painters Tape
400 Sq. Ft. Plastic Cling Wrap
200 Sq. Ft. Aluminum Foil
1 roll Clear Packing Tape
30 Magnetic Data Backup tapes (300 yards of 1" magnetic tape each)
1 Mousetrap
1 Empty 1 gallon Milk Jug
2 Bags multicolored confetti
1 bag multicolored glitter
1 spool fishing line
1 small mouth-funnel
1 Old Beanbag (large)

1) Take Blue Painters tape and cover all flat surfaces of desk, including all objects on top of the desk (Monitor, Keyboard, Mouse, Phone, Individual Pens, Scissors, etc)
2) Wrap Plastic cling wrap around all Taped Surfaces, at least 2 layers thick. 
3) Follow the Plastic wrap with Aluminum fo
il, giving the desk and all objects on top of the desk the 'shiney new desk' look
4) Fill 1 over-desk storage compartment with shredded magnetic tape; close front-door and lightly tape to ensure the door remains closed until pulled
5) Tape up any holes or openings in 2nd over-desk storage area, ensuring a tight, leak-free fit. 
6) Close and tape door to storage area #2, securely tape (you'll see why)
7) Place funnel at screw-hole opening on top of Over-desk Storage area#2... empty entire contents of bean bag into funnel, down int
o sealed storage area. 
8) remove any traces of tape securing the door as to be unsuspecting
9) Above desk chair, remove ceiling tile, cut a 1" hole just big enough for the milkjug top to fit into. 
10) place glitter and confetti into Milk Jug, loosly place a sheet of paper overtop
11) Connect 1 end of fishing line to the back of a closed-desk drawer
12) run the fishing line discretely up the wall into the cieling. 
13) Connect the fishing line to the catch mechanism of the mouse trap, ensuring that the line is sufficiently pulled tight when the drawer is closed
14) from the trap mechanism, tie a length of fishing line long enough to reach the cieling tile above desk chair. 
15) Gently but quickly, flip the milk jug upside down (with the paper over the opening of the jug)  and place it into the cut hole. 
16) place the Jug & Tile assembly into the ceiling and connect the paper with the loose end of the fishing line thats attached to the mouse trap. 
17 ) Wait. For. It. 



Katie Jones said...

Whoa- I love the schematic drawing. Really helps me picture the whole thing.

You're a vile one, Mr. Greg.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Greg...

Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

cindy glawson said...

Sick kids. My God, who raised you?